Wonderlands and Looking Glasses
by Oneturtledove
Summary: A cord of three strands is not easily broken...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: They aren't mine. Except for the one very special character you don't already know. I think here would also be a good place to say that there is already a story like this on Gossamer. I had this idea long before I ever read that story, and mine has a few more twists, but that one is very, very good too. So not stolen, just kind of done without knowledge of the existence of the first. You know what I mean.

Spoilers: Whatever.

A/N: I know some of you won't like this premise, but that is okay. It's not everyone's cup of tea. I got this idea one day about... 7 years ago, and it has been through at least 3 rewrites, possibly more. I am pretty sure I know how it will end but bear with me in the meantime. *insert smiley emoticon here*

This story starts 3 weeks after FTF, but before season 6. So late summer, early fall 1998. That may not be important to you, but it is to me for some reason.

* * *

_"Hey Scully, it's me. I'm not going to be in the office this week; something came up and I had to go out of town. I'll call you later and fill you in as best I can. Nothing to worry about really. Call me if you need anything."_

The message was waiting on her voicemail when she woke up on Monday morning. They had talked briefly on Friday night, but she had been with her mom all weekend and hadn't tried to call him since. It wasn't entirely unusual for him to leave for a few days, but it still concerned her.

She sat down at her desk and tried to concentrate on some paperwork, but the little teeth of curiosity dug themselves in to her consciousness and she couldn't shake it. After battling it for an hour or so, she picked up the phone and dialed his cell number.

"Mulder," he answered, sounding slightly out of breath.

"Mulder, it's me."

"Oh, hey Scully. What's up?"

"I just wanted to call and make sure everything was okay. You were a little vague in your message."

"I'm sorry, I just- hold on."

He put his hand over the phone for a moment, and she briefly wondered what he didn't want her to hear. He hardly ever covered the phone.

"Sorry about that, Scully. Can I call you back in a few hours? I'm kind of in the middle of something."

"Yeah. I guess."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Mulder. I'll talk to you later."

She hung the phone up and sighed. He had gone off to see another woman. Only three weeks after their almost kiss in the hallway, he had left her to see someone else. She was almost certain of it. It made her a little sad, a little mad, but mostly it just annoyed her. Sure, they hadn't talked about the almost kiss and it hadn't seemed like they ever would. Neither one of them had laid claim to the other and she had no logical reason to be mad.

Except her heart was involved and as logical as she normally was, her heart had a way of mucking things up.

She spent the rest of the day concentrating on paperwork, catching up on phone calls, and trying to avoid all thoughts of Mulder. She did pretty well until lunch time, when she almost asked him where he wanted to eat. Being apart from him should have been a nice change, but more than anything, it was driving her nuts.

She grabbed a quick sandwich at the deli down the street, then returned to work. Everyone else was still out and she had the entire bull-pen to herself. She grabbed the phone and was halfway through dialing Skinner's office before she realized that he wasn't really able to talk to them anymore. She thought about calling Kersh, but decided against it. On the off chance that he knew where Mulder was, he would never tell her anyway. So she did the only thing she could do, no matter how taboo it was. She used the FBI, government issued phone to call Conspiracy Central- the Lone Gunmen offices.

"Lone Gunmen." Langley answered. It was really bad when she could tell who it was even through the voice scrambler.

"Langley, it's Scully."

"I know, we have caller ID."

"How fancy. Look, do you guys know where Mulder is?"

"I don't. Let me confer with my associates."

She sighed and rolled her eyes. They took themselves so seriously. It was more comical than some of the theories they came up with.

"We have no idea where your well seasoned traveler is. Do you want us to see if we can find him?"

"Could you?"

"Yeah. I mean, we wouldn't be doing much more than they would do for you down in the FBI lab, but we'll do it faster."

"Thanks, guys."

"When did you talk to him last?"

"This morning. He left me a message that he would be out of town for a few days. Then I called him back, but he had to hang up after a few minutes. I have no idea where he is or why he's there or anything, but I'm betting he's with another woman, and I'm betting it's Fowley."

"Nah, Fowley went back to Europe."

"She did?"

"Yeah. Not sure how long she's going to be there, but that's where she told Mulder she was going. I am assuming he didn't pass along the message."

"No, he didn't."

"Well, she's gone. You can stop worrying about her encroaching on your territory."

If her mother had said something like that she would have denied it, but besides Mulder, the Gunmen knew her the best. And Langley was right. She had been worried about that.

"Okay. Let me know what you guys find out."

"We will."

She hung the phone up and sighed, tucking her hair behind her ear. People were starting to filter back into the room and she wanted to look busy so no one would talk to her. When she started with the bureau, she had several friends that she talked to in the hallways or went out to lunch with. Over the years, it had just become her and Mulder. At first it bothered her, but now it was kind of comforting.

The fleeting thought that he was with someone else and it would never be just the two of them again made her stomach churn. She took a deep breath and pushed the thought from her mind. Mulder could do what he wanted. She'd survive it. She had before.

* * *

As it turned out, Mulder called her back before the Gunmen did. She was just sitting down on the couch with a book and a glass of lemonade when the phone rang.

"Scully."

"Hey, sorry I'm just calling you back now. I meant to before, but I got involved in something else."

"That's alright. I'm sure it was important."

"Scully, are you sitting down? Comfortable?"

"Yes, why?"

"Because. We need to talk."

"We do?"

"Do you have time for that?"

"I suppose. What's going on?"

"Well, first of all, I want you to know that no matter what, you and I are still going to be partners and friends. Nothing could ever change that, not even what I'm about to tell you."

"You're freaking me out."

"Scully, a long time ago, before you and I met, Diana and I were married."

She was afraid her dinner would reappear.

"You were?"

"Yes. It was a bad idea, it was short lived and we weren't in love, but it happened."

"I always suspected something, I just didn't know it would be... that."

"There's more."

"I will try to hide my disgust."

"Scully, you're making this very hard to tell you."

"I'm sorry. Go ahead."

Her heart had clenched and her mind was screaming obscenities, but she had to focus her attention on what Mulder was saying.

"This isn't a conversation I wanted to have over the phone. I should have told you this years ago."

"Probably."

"The divorce had just gone through when I met you. She was still in the states, but she was getting ready to go to Europe. I wasn't really in the mood to talk about it. After that it just seemed... stupid to bring it up."

"Why are you bringing it up now?"

"Because, there's more to the story."

"Great."

"I'm not really sure how to tell you this."

"Well, I can't exactly inflict any damage to your person, at least not at this moment, so have at it."

"Scully, Diana and I... we have a daughter."


	2. Chapter 2

_"Scully, Diana and I... we have a daughter."_

Her breath left her in a whoosh and she thought she might pass out for a moment. Mulder had a kid? With Diana? Suddenly she knew what it felt like when the world tipped on its axis.

"Scully? You with me?"

"Uh... I... uh..."

"I know, it's not what you were expecting me to say."

"Uh-uh."

"Could you say an actual word?"

"No."

"Scully."

"I can't even... I just... you have a kid?"

"She's 5."

"Well... congratulations?"

"Scully..."

"I don't know what to say, Mulder! I'm sorry. They don't exactly put this in the FBI handbook you know."

"I know."

She sighed trying to slow her racing heart and quiet the pounding in her ears. This had to be a dream. Some kind of sick nightmare from which she would wake in a cold sweat and chastise herself for ever believing it was true. It was so outlandish, so bizarrely juxtaposed with reality, so entirely freaky. It was like Ripley's Believe It Or Not, except normal people were involved in this one.

"Scully?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

"I think so."

"Ready for more?"

"More? How could there possibly be more?"

He ignored her outburst and forged ahead.

"Diana told me she was pregnant about a week before I met you. She wanted an abortion, but had one moment of decency in her life and decided to ask my opinion first. I begged her not to do it. She said she couldn't go to Europe if she had the baby, but I convinced her to keep it. After the baby was born, Diana left."

"She left you alone with a baby? How did I not know this?"

"She didn't leave me alone, Scully. Diana's mother offered to take care of her until I was able to. I was really depressed back then, Scully. I don't know if you knew that. I was in no condition to be a father. I always assumed that I would be ready in a year or two, but it didn't happen."

"So Diana's mother has been raising your daughter?"

"Yes."

"Wow."

"I know."

"So I assume you're visiting her?"

"Sort of. Diana's mother, Mary died on Friday night."

"What?"

"She had a heart attack."

"Mulder... what does this... I mean, what's going to... where... I don't know what to say."

"I didn't expect that you would."

"So what's going to happen?"

"Makenzie is going to come and live with me."

"Makenzie."

"Yeah."

"She's going to live with you?"

"Yes."

"Where?"

"In my apartment, Scully."

"No, I mean where in your apartment. You can't just stick her in a kitchen chair."

"I know that, Scully. I'm going to clean the place up."

"But... when? And how?"

"I don't know yet."

"Mulder, how are you going to do this? Raise a little girl and work and... how?"

"I don't know yet, Scully. But I have to do it."

"What does Diana think about all this?"

"No one has been able to get a hold of her yet."

"Don't you think she'll want Makenzie? I mean, she is her daughter."

The words hurt to say.

"Scully, Diana hasn't seen Makenzie in three years. She hasn't called or sent a card. She abandoned her, for all intents and purposes."

"Why?"

"Because she's an idiot. She's selfish. You know that."

"Yeah, I do."

There was a long pause and they sighed together.

"So Mulder, what's the plan for now?"

"Deal with things here. Get her stuff packed up, bring her home. Get her settled in, enroll her in school, look for a better place to live."

"Maybe it's a good thing we're not on the X-Files anymore. You'll have more time for her. It will be safer."

"You're right. It will be."

"Mulder?"

"Hmm?"

"I'll help you, you know. Whatever you need, I'll help you."

"You will?"

She took a deep breath, not quite sure what she was committing to.

"Yes, I will."

"I don't think you realize how much that means to me."

"You did the same for me once Mulder. You're my best friend. Of course I'm going to be there for you."

"Thank you."

"When are you going to be home?"

"Saturday. Maybe Sunday. I'm not sure yet."

"Do you want me to go over to your apartment and clean up a little? Get some groceries, have the CDC clean your bathroom?"

"If you want to do that for me, Scully that would be great."

"I do."

"I better go. I have a munchkin to put to bed."

"You have a munchkin to put to bed," she repeated with a slight chuckle. "That is so weird, Mulder."

"Yeah it kind of is."

"I guess I'll let you go then."

"I'm not really sure how to end this conversation."

"It's just a little... awkward."

"Yeah."

"Mulder?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I know. I love you too."

They hung up quietly, not knowing what else to say. Mulder raked a hand through his hair. That had gone better than he had expected, but he was sure that her tears would be coming later tonight. He knew how his having a child would hurt her, but at this point keeping it a secret wouldn't work. He didn't know how this was going to play out, how they would all be affected or how things would change. He wasn't sure he was ready, but within the next few days, he would have to be.

"Daddy?" came a small voice from the doorway. He turned in his chair and found his little girl. Her Little Mermaid nightgown fell all the way to her ankles and her long brown hair was in ringlets due to the bathwater.

"Hi honey."

She grinned, biting her fingernails.

"Who were you talking to?" she asked, walking towards him and climbing into his lap.

"That was my friend, Dana. Remember I told you about her?"

"Yeah. Hers a tough cookie."

"She is a tough cookie," he corrected, brushing her damp hair out of her face. "Do you want me to read to you tonight?"

"Yeah. Little House on the Prairie. Gramma reads it to me," she said softly. "But not anymore."

He cuddled her for a moment and brushed away the tear that ran down her face.

"Daddy, do you gotta go away again?"

"No sweetie. You're coming to live with me. Remember?"

"I don't want to leave my house, daddy."

"I know that. I wish there was another way we could do this."

"Could we move my house with us?"

He chuckled and hugged her.

"Why don't we get all your stuff moved and get you settled in and then we'll look for a brand new house together. One that is just ours."

"Really? Will it have a backyard?"

"Of course."

"And a pool?"

"We'll look for one."

"Could I have a puppy?"

"I'll think about it."

She wrapped her tiny arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest.

"I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too, Z."

He stood up and carried her into her bedroom, tucking her tightly into the purple sheets. She pulled her stuffed tiger into her arms and kissed it's head.

"Honey, do you think maybe we can wash Old Tiger in the morning?"

"NO! Hims scared of the water because hims don't know how to swim!"

"He, sweetheart. What if we washed him in the bathtub and then he could go for a ride in the dryer?"

"Hims won't get hurt?"

"No, I promise."

"Hims will be okay and not melt like when my crayons got in the dryer?"

"He will be just fine, honey."

"Well... okay. Hims is getting kind of hideous."

"He, Makenzie. Not hims."

"I always forget."

"That's okay. Now, do you want me to read Little House on the Prairie?"

Her green eyes sparkled as she looked up at him.

"Yep. We were reading the book 'bout Amanzo."

"Almanzo?"

"Yep."

He took the book off of her beside table and began to read. She watched him for several minutes then drifted off to sleep, her long lashes resting on the apple of her rosy cheeks. He had cherished every moment he had ever spent with her because they had been few and far between. Mary had never kept them apart, and had been the only person to ever tell him that he was a good father. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't always be there, but he saw Makenzie as often as he could and was only a phone call away if she needed him. He regretted it, but she was better off living with her grandmother. Now though, he wasn't sure what to do.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thanks for all the nice reviews. It's always kind of scary to put up a story like this, and I am glad you guys like it. There isn't going to be much angst in this one either... at least not for a while.

* * *

"Daddy, does D.C. have a zoo like West 'Aginia did?"

"West Virginia, and yes, we have a zoo. Should we go there sometime?"

"Yes, I love the zoo really much. Also does D.C. have a toy store?"

"Where do you think you're moving, Z, out to the boonies?"

"What'sa boonies?"

"The middle of nowhere."

"Where's the middle of nowhere?"

He sighed.

"I don't know, Babs."

"Hey, I'm not a Babs!"

He chuckled and glanced over his shoulder at her. She was sitting in the back seat, Old Tiger on her lap and a lollipop in her mouth. She was bouncing one light up sneaker clad shoe on the seat and staring out the window.

"Daddy?"

"What honey?"

"What are we going to do at your apartment?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you have toys there?"

"No, but your toys will be there in a day or two. Remember we put them all in the moving van and those big guys are driving them over."

"Oh yeah. I liked that one big guy Lenny. Hims was nice."

"He was nice."

"That's what I said!"

"I know, Z."

"Will I have friends there?"

"Of course. You'll start school in a while and you always make good friends in kindergarten. I'm sure you'll have no problem making friends. Just be yourself and you'll be fine."

"Do you have friends, daddy?"

"A few."

"Like Miss Dana?"

"Yeah."

"Do you gots more friends?"

"Yeah, I do. When you get old like me you don't need as many friends though."

She thought about that for a moment, crunching through her lollipop.

"Grandma was old and hers had lots of friends. Hers must have been popular when hers was mine age."

"She must have been."

"Is Miss Dana nice, daddy?"

"Yes, she is. She's my best friend. Do you think I would be friends with a mean person?"

"Well, I guess not. Will hers like me?"

"Yes, she will."

"Will I like her?"

She nodded and reached down to put the lollipop stick in the plastic bag she had been using for a garbage can.

"I'm nervous, Daddy."

"That's okay. We all get nervous sometimes. I'm kind of nervous too."

"Why for?"

"I just want you to be happy living with me. I'm not sure that you will be."

"Why not Daddy?"

"I don't exactly know how to do all the things a daddy should do."

"That's okay. I'll teach you."

He snickered as he pulled the car in to the parking lot of his apartment building.

"Are we here Daddy?"

"Yes, we are."

"Is this all ours? Like _Eloise in the City_?"

"No, it's not all ours."

"That's too bad. Does it got an elevator?"

"Yes, it has an elevator."

"Can we ride it?"

"Yeah, grab your backpack and we'll go ride it now."

She unbuckled her seatbelt and jumped out of the car, dragging Old Tiger by his tail and tugging her backpack onto her shoulder. She slipped her free hand into Mulder's and they entered the building together. They stepped onto the elevator and Mulder pushed the button for the 4th floor.

"Hey Z, when I tell you to, I want you to jump as high as you can."

"Why?"

"Because."

She giggled and waited until his cue, then jumped.

"The floor moved, Daddy! I almost touched the roof!"

"I know."

"Can we do it again?"

"Maybe next time. For now lets get everything inside."

She nodded and he unlocked the apartment door and ushered her inside. Scully had definitely been here. She had cleaned the whole place and aired it out. His fish tank had even been cleaned and the dead fish replaced. It looked like a home.

"Where's my bedroom, daddy?"

"Well, it's not exactly ready for you yet," he said, opening the door. What he found was not the spare bedroom stuffed with old clothes and casefiles that he had left last week. Somewhere lurking under the surface, Scully was hiding an alter ego, one which lived and breathed not only spic and span, but a strong desire to downsize.

The room was entirely cleaned out. Scully had painted it a light periwinkle (not that Mulder knew what periwinkle was), she had put up curtains on the windows he forgot that he had, and a small woven throw rug was on the floor. Makenzie's furniture would be arriving soon, but for now there was an air mattress set up with a large quilt covering it.

"This is my room daddy? It's so humungous!" she squealed, throwing herself down on the bed. "This bed is gooey! Can I keep this one instead of mine own one?"

He chuckled as she bounced on the bed, her green eyes shining.

"We can put my desk by the window so I can look outside when I color. And my toybox can go over there, and my dresser right here. Would that be good, daddy?"

"That would be great, honey."

She stood up on the air mattress and bounced a little, her curls falling into her eyes.

"What'sa matter, daddy?"

"Nothing honey. I'm just glad you're happy. Want to bring up the rest of your stuff?"

"Yep. I'll leave Old Tiger here so he gets used to our new room."

She set her toy down and skipped out of the room, humming a song. Mulder glanced around the bedroom, and for the first time, he realized how ill-equipped he was for this.


	4. Chapter 4

Scully stood at Mulder's door for a long time before she thought about knocking. There was no turning back. This evening made it official. Makenzie was part of her life now.

She raised her hand to the door and knocked, trying to quell the uneasy feeling in her stomach. If things didn't go well tonight, Mulder might not be a part of her life for much longer.

The door creaked open and the moment their eyes met, she knew it would be okay.

"Hey Scully."

"Hey Mulder."

The moment the door closed behind her, he wrapped her in a hug, resting his chin on her head. She returned the hug, sighing into his chest.

"I've missed you Scully."

"Right back at you. How is everything?"

"It's good. She's settling in. All her stuff got here the other day, so she's been putting everything exactly where she wants it. Thank you for all you did around here. It was just... I don't deserve it."

"Maybe you don't but I'm betting she does."

"Yes, she does. And she loves it too."

"Good."

"Dinner is almost ready, I just have to plate it up."

"Mulder, did your order Chinese?"

"Maybe."

"Would you like me to teach you how to cook?"

"Yes."

She smiled and helped him set the table.

"Z, dinner's ready. Go wash your hands."

They heard feet running from the bedroom to the bathroom and in a few moments, Makenzie skipped into the room. She had bare feet and holey jeans, a too big t-shirt and messy hair, but Mulder didn't seem to mind. He scooped her up and kissed her cheek gently.

"Makenzie, this is my friend Dana."

The little girl stuck out her hand and Scully took it.

"It's nice to meet you Miss Dana. My daddy talks about you lots. Hims said you goed above and beyond the call of duty cuz this place was a sty."

Mulder's face turned red and Scully grinned.

"Would you believe that I've seen worse?"

Makenzie giggled and covered her mouth.

"Gramma said daddy is a bachelor and them guys don't know how to clean theirs houses."

"Okay, enough ripping on daddy," Mulder said, sitting Makenzie down at the table. "Who wants egg rolls?"

"You mean we's not having pizza?"

"Nope."

"Good because I am exhausted of pepperoni."

"I'm sorry, honey. I'll do better, I promise."

"Could we have spaghetti and meatballs tomorrow night?"

"We'll see."

"Gramma lets me throw a noodle on the wall when it's done."

"Let's just see how tomorrow goes, okay Z?"

"Okay."

* * *

"And then Jeremy dared Shelby to jump so she did and hers breaked her arm. And so I punched Jeremy for telling her to jump and I got sended home for that. Shelby got a pink cast on her arm and hers let everyone sign it except Jeremy. Hims got mad and teacher told us we had to be nice to him too. Even though hims a bully, can you believe that?"

She stopped talking for a moment and took a bite of her dinner before starting up again.

"That was in preschool though. When I go to kindergarten there won't be bullies I think. Plus I won't punch people because I don't like getting in trouble. Did you ever punch someone, daddy? Did you get in trouble for it? Did you get sended to your room?"

Scully was trying her best not to laugh, and was doing a lot better at it than Mulder, who looked like his eyes were about to pop out of their sockets from all the pressure.

"Well daddy? Didja?"

"Yes, I have punched someone before. I shouldn't have done it either."

"Did you get in trouble?"

"Yes, I did."

"Did you get a spankin'?"

"No."

"Maybe you should have."

"Eat your dinner, Z."

"Can we watch a movie after? A Disney one?"

"Of course we can."

"Could we pop popcorn?"

"If you can finish your dinner, I'll think about it."

She nodded and speared a big piece of steamed broccoli with her fork.

"I love broccoli. Do you like broccoli, Dana?"

"I do now. I didn't when I was little."

"How come?"

"Because I was a very stubborn child."

"I bet you were," Mulder teased. She kicked him gently under the table.

"Could I leave the onions, daddy? I don't like them."

"Sure. Why don't you take your plate into the kitchen and choose a movie? We'll clean up and be in there in a minute."

"You have sixty Mississippi's daddy."

She ran into the other room and began to look through the videos that Mulder had placed on the bottom shelf of his bookcase.

"We'd better get cracking on these dishes; I think she might actually be counting."

Scully snickered and followed him into the kitchen where they put the food away and rinsed their plates.

"I should probably go," Scully said, drying her hands on a dishtowel.

"No, stay. I haven't seen you in two weeks."

She smiled a little.

"I know, but I kind of feel like... I don't know. Maybe like I don't belong here."

"Hey," he started, tilting her chin up so he could look at her eyes. "I want you here. It's still my life, it's just a little different. And I will always want you in it. Just stay for a while longer."

"Alright."

He smiled and took her hand, leading her to the couch. They sat down and Makenzie crawled up between them, holding the remote.

"This is the best movie in the whole entire world," she said, pressing the play button. "I could watch it all day long."

"What is it?"

"_BABE_!"

The look on Scully's face was enough to last Mulder the rest of his life. He would never need to hear another joke as long as he could remember that face.

"Why do you like this movie so much, Z?"

"Cuz. Babe is cute. And hims don't got a mom neither. Plus the singing mouses are cute."

"Mice, honey."

"Oh. I forgotted."

"Forgot."

"I can't say nothing right."

"Yes you can, honey. You speak better than most kids your age. Sometimes you just go too fast and forget."

"So it's not my fault?"

"No, it's not."

"Good."

Makenzie settled back against the couch and was soon transfixed by the movie. Her concentration was so like Mulder's. She even crinkled her nose just a little. It was in that moment that Scully really accepted it. Mulder was a father. This was his daughter. The two of them were a family. And maybe she herself belonged in Mulder's life, but she didn't have a place in Makenzie's. Mulder had a child and it wasn't hers. It was almost too much.

"Hey," Mulder whispered over his daughter's head. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

He took her at her word, deciding it was a conversation for a later time.

* * *

A/N: I know that was kind of out of place and weird and just... I dunno. But I think it was supposed to be for some reason. Anyway, review please.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been almost a month since Makenzie had come to live with Mulder. They had fallen into daily routines and they were both happy being together. Mulder worked half days while Makenzie went to daycare. He didn't particularly like that, but luck was on his side when he found out that Skinner's sister Susan had a daycare in her home. Makenzie loved playing with the other kids and didn't mind being away from her dad, at least not for a while. But school was starting tomorrow, Mulder was going to go back to full days at work, and they would have to get used to being apart for more than four hours at a time.

Scully had been teaching Mulder to cook, much to the delight and amusement of Makenzie. She was sitting on a chair in the kitchen right now, swinging her feet and giggling at her father's antics. He wasn't such a bad cook, but the little mistakes made her laugh and he played it up as much as he could.

"Mulder did you just try to boil the potatoes in milk?"

"I thought it would save a step."

"Are you kidding me right now?"

"No."

Makenzie giggled and got up from her chair to see the mess her father had created.

"This could be a problem, daddy," she said seriously, standing on her toes to look into the pot on the stove.

"You could be a problem," Mulder shot back, a twinkle in his eye. Makenzie just sighed and shook her head.

"Dana, is daddy ever going to learn to make smashed tatoes? I'm hungry."

"Don't worry, I've got it under control."

"It's a good thing you can cook or we would starve."

"I don't doubt that, kiddo."

"Z, why don't you go back to your chair? I'm afraid you'll get burned over here."

"Okay."

She sat back down on the chair with Old Tiger, who was desperately in need of another bath. Mulder had been wondering for weeks how he could convince her to leave Old Tiger at home while she went to school, but nothing seemed fair. If she needed the toy for comfort, then she should have it. If the other kids made fun of her, they would just have to find another school. That's all there was to it in his mind.

"Mulder, can you check on the roast? It should be about ready."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's been cooking for a few hours now."

"But... you only told me to put it in the oven, you never told me to turn the oven on."

"Mulder!"

Makenzie squealed with laughter.

"I'm just kidding, Scully."

"You are such a jerk," she muttered, grinning. He smiled at her and opened the oven to check on the roast."

"Smells pretty good. Think it will be done by the time we fix the potatoes?"

"By the time I fix the potatoes. You get to toss the salad."

"Yes ma'am."

They finished making dinner quickly, only stopping to bicker a few times before it was done. By the time they sat down at the table, Scully was exhausted. Mulder had always tried her patience, but he seemed to enjoy having an audience now. But it was worth it to make Makenzie laugh.

"Dana, can I have some green beans please?"

"Sure," she answered, spooning the green beans onto her plate.

"More please."

"More?"

"Yep. I like green beans."

"Alright, there you go."

"Thank you."

Mulder and Scully fell into a conversation about work while Makenzie concentrated on eating her dinner. She chased green beans around her plate and ended up with most of them in her lap, but picked them up with her fingers and ate them anyway.

"Daddy, we still need to iron my dress for tomorrow," she said, once there was a lull in the conversation. Mulder looked at Scully sheepishly and she smiled.

"Yes, I will teach you how to iron."

"Thanks."

"Daddy what would you do without Dana?"

"I don't even want to think about it, Z."

She smiled and finished her dinner, then got up from the table.

"Don't go far honey, you need a bath tonight."

Her face immediately fell and she began to blink rapidly.

"But mine hair will get tangles and you will pull them."

"I try not to, honey. I really do."

"It makes my head hurt, daddy."

"I know. Maybe if we brush your hair really good before we wash it, it won't be so bad."

"Okay, we can try."

"Go play, sweetie."

She nodded and disappeared into her bedroom and Scully patted Mulder's hand.

"You're doing a good job, Mulder."

"It's hard."

"I know."

"There's a lot I don't know how to do."

"That's okay. No one knows everything anyway."

"I just want everything to be perfect. I want her to be happy."

"She is happy, Mulder. You're doing a great job and I'm proud of you."

"You are?"

"Of course I am."

She squeezed his hand and gave him a reassuring smile.

"Why don't you go give her a bath and I'll clean up in here."

"I don't want to put you to work."

"That's not what you said last week when I was wearing that apron."

He snickered and stood up from the table.

"Don't wear an apron with Rosie the Riveter on it if you don't want me to make jokes."

"You're a caveman."

An hour later, Makenzie came out of the bathroom smelling of baby shampoo and strawberries. She climbed up onto the couch next to Scully and sighed.

"What are you watching, Dana?"

"Just the news."

"Oh. I like the weather man on this channel. Hims funny."

"Yeah, he is. Are you ready for school tomorrow?"

"Yep. Daddy says it will be fun. And thems got a playground at that school too, and it has a slide. I love slides."

"Do they have tire swings?"

"Yep."

"Those are my favorite."

"I like them too. Dana?"

"Yeah?"

"My tummy is kind of nervous."

"It is?"

"Yeah. What if my teacher doesn't like me?"

"That won't happen, sweetheart. Nobody in the world could not like you."

"Really?"

"Really, I promise."

Makenzie smiled and scooted a little closer, pulling her legs up on the couch.

"Will you come with us in the morning? When daddy takes me to school?"

"If you want me to I'll be there."

"Okay."

Mulder joined them on the couch, a comb in his hand. Makenzie eyed it warily for a moment.

"I'll make you a deal. Every tangle I pull I'll pay you a quarter."

"A whole quarter?"

"Yep."

"Well, okay."

She turned on the couch so her back was too him, and she squeezed her eyes shut tightly. Mulder started to run the comb through her hair, but it wasn't long before he ran into a knot.

"Ow daddy, that pulls."

"I'm sorry."

Scully held her hand out for the comb and Mulder relinquished it gratefully. He wanted to do it himself, but he didn't want to see his daughter in pain, even for a second.

"If you work out all the tangles at the bottom first and go up in small sections it will be a lot easier."

"Why isn't this printed somewhere?"

"I don't know."

He watched her as she worked, and within minutes, Makenzie's long hair was free of tangles.

"Scully, you're magic."

"Well, maybe a little."

"Alright Z, time for bed."

"Five more minutes?"

"Well... I suppose."

She smiled and climbed into his lap and kissed his cheek.

"You're the best daddy in the whole world."

"I am?"

"Yep."

"Well you're the best daughter in the whole world."

"I know."

They sat quietly for a while and Makenzie started to drift off to sleep.

"Sweetie I'm going to put you to bed now."

"Okay."

"Say goodnight to Dana."

She crawled across the couch and hugged Scully around the neck.

"Make sure daddy irons my dress, okay?"

"I did it while you were in the tub."

"And don't forget to come with us in the morning."

"I won't."

"Goodnight, Dana."

"Goodnight, Kenz. Sweet dreams."

Mulder lifted his daughter from the couch and took her into her bedroom. He made sure she was tucked in and Old Tiger was in her arms before he turned the light off and left the room.

Scully was sitting on the couch where he had left her, her feet tucked up underneath her. She was playing with the comb and looked lost in thought.

"Scully?"

"Hmm?"

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Just thinking."

"About?" he asked, sitting down next to her.

She sighed and looked up at him before answering.

"Emily."

"What about her?"

"Nothing in particular. Sometimes I just wonder what it would be like... if she had lived. If the adoption would have gone through. Sometimes it just hits me I guess."

"Because of Makenzie?"

"No, not really. Well maybe a little. Not in a bad way though."

He slid his arm around her shoulders and drew her closer, kissing the crown of her head.

"I don't want this to hurt you."

"It doesn't. It did a little at first, but now... I think it actually helps."

"It does?"

"A little bit. The hurt will never really be gone, but I don't think about it as much. That little girl in there, Mulder, she's changed a lot of things. Her smile gives me something to look forward to every day. And maybe that's what I've been needing all along."

He smiled and kissed her forehead.

"You don't know how glad I am to hear you say that. I've been so worried that you and Makenzie wouldn't hit it off. But she loves you, Scully. She always asks about you and what you're doing and if you can go with us when we go places. She's never been this open to anyone as far as I know. She really, really loves you."

Scully grinned and nodded.

"I love her too."

They settled back into the couch and watched TV for a few moments before either one of them spoke. It was nice to have semi-silence for a while.

"I should go," Scully said with a yawn as she stood up.

"Are you alright to drive?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Should I just meet you at the school tomorrow?"

"We'll pick you up on the way."

"Alright. See you in the morning."

"Drive safe, Scully."

"Night Mulder."

She leaned down and pecked his cheek gently then headed out, leaving him to get some rest before the big day.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Slightly disheartened about this story at the moment. But all reviews have a point, whether I agree with it or not. So, for those of you who may think Mulder's actions/decisions in the raising of his daughter are OOC or make him a slimeball... just wait. More will be explained. Not everything can be upfront. For all of you who have reviewed, good, bad or indifferent, thanks. Sometimes it hurts, but in the end it makes us better, no? That's what I keep telling myself. Gr.

* * *

"Daddy, hurry up!"

"I've just got to fix my tie and then we'll go."

"Well shake a leg please. I'm getting antsy over here," she said, clicking her Mary Janes together. She tossed a long strand of hair over her shoulder and scratched at the band-aid on her knee.

"I'll be right with you, little lady."

"Could I go warm up the car?"

"Are you for real?" he asked, pinching her side gently. She squealed and moved away, holding up her backpack for protection. Mulder chuckled and grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair.

"Alright, we're ready to go. And wouldn't you know it, we're early. Think we should stop for coffee?"

"Yeah! Could I get a kids coffee?"

"Sure, as long as you're careful and don't spill it."

"I won't spill," she promised. "But make sure they give us lots of napkins just in case."

She still had no idea that the kids coffee was just hot chocolate with coffee flavoring in it, and Mulder wasn't about to tell her either.

She raced him out to the car, taking the stairs rather than the elevator, because she was perfecting jumping the last three steps. That's how she had acquired the band-aid on her knee.

"Are we going to get coffee for Dana too? Hers likes coffee."

"Yeah, and I had better get her some or she will injure me."

"Daddy, you're goofy," she announced, sliding into her car seat.

"I know. Can you buckle yourself?"

"Of course I can! I'm in kindergarten now, don't forget."

"I won't. Ready to roll?"

"Yep, let's blow this popsicle stand."

He grinned and started the car, heading towards Scully's apartment. Makenzie stared out the window, obviously lost in her own world. He remembered Samantha doing that a lot when she was Makenzie's age. He wasn't sure if it was a girl thing or a female Mulder thing. He'd have to ask Scully.

He stopped at a drive thru coffee stand about a block away from Scully's apartment. No matter how well he knew Scully, he could still never remember what she liked to drink. If he was just getting them drip coffee it was fine, but throw in sizes, iced or hot, whipped cream or not, latte, mocha, frappe, blended... and he was utterly lost. He decided on something with cinnamon and caramel in it. He figured that was the best way to go.

Makenzie sipped her kids coffee happily, stopping every few moments to wipe her face.

"Daddy, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure honey."

"If I don't like school, can I quit?"

"Nope."

"Okay, just checking."

They pulled into the parking lot just as Scully was coming out of the building.

"Dana, Dana, I gots coffee!" Makenzie shouted as Scully slid into the car.

"I can tell."

"Daddy got you some too. It has whipped cream on it."

Scully smiled as Mulder handed her the paper cup. It smelled a little sweeter than she would have preferred, but it was the thought that counted.

* * *

"Susan will pick you up as soon as school is over, okay?"

"Okay. When will you pick me up from Susan's, daddy?"

"I'll be there at 5:30. Deal?"

"Alright. You'll make sure, right Dana?"

"I promise. He will be there at 5:30."

"Do I have to go in now?" she asked, looking up at them with watery eyes. Mulder glanced over at Scully, his expression the same as his daughters.

"You've still got a few minutes," Scully said, crouching down in front of the little girl. "Besides, I have something for you."

"You do?"

"Yep. I thought you might like a little gift on your first day of school."

"What is it, what is it?"

Scully pulled a small box out of her jacket pocket and handed it to Makenzie who cracked it open.

"Oh, a necklace! It's so pretty, Dana!"

"Look, it opens up."

"That's a picture of Daddy in there! Oh, thank you Dana! Can I wear it now?"

"Of course. Turn around and I'll put it on you."

She managed to get the necklace fastened around Makenzie's neck without getting it caught in her curls, which was one of the most superhuman feats anyone had ever attempted.

"It's so pretty! Is it really mine? For reals?"

"Yes, for reals."

"Did you see it Daddy? Isn't it pretty?"

"Yes, I saw."

"Thank you, Dana. I'll never take it off except during my bath."

"You're welcome, sweetie."

"I guess I have to go in now, huh?"

"Yep," Mulder said, kneeling down in front of her. "I want you to tell me everything that happens today, okay? I want to feel like I was there."

"I won't forget nothing, daddy."

He kissed her forehead and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Be good, Z."

"I will daddy. I'll see you later."

She tugged her backpack onto her shoulder, took a deep breath, and walked towards her classroom, where the teacher was standing with the door open.

"Hi, I'm Mrs. Ricart."

"I'm Makenzie. Are you my teacher?"

"Yes, I am. Some of your classmates are already inside. Would you like to meet them?"

"Only if thems are nice. Because if thems are mean then I don't need 'em."

Mrs. Ricart chuckled a little and led Makenzie into the classroom.

"Well?" Scully asked, taking Mulder's hand. "Do you want to stay here for a little bit?"

"Kind of. But she'll be okay, won't she?"

"Of course she will."

"Did you see how she just marched right up there? She wasn't scared at all."

"I know."

"She'll be fine, right Scully?"

"She's already fine. Look," she said, pointing through the small window in the door. Makenzie was sitting at a table with a handful of other kids. They were playing with play-doh and they were all laughing at something their parents would probably never understand.

Mulder smiled to himself, proud and sad at the same time. His little girl was growing up. It seemed like yesterday when he saw her for the first time, and now here she was, almost six and already striking out on her own. He wanted so badly to run in there and cuddle her, but he knew how bad that would be. Instead he wrapped his arm around Scully's shoulder and headed for the car.

"Are you going to be okay, Mulder?"

He nodded as they stepped out into the parking lot.

"I may be counting down the hours to 5:30, but I'm going to be just fine."


End file.
